Won Without A Word

ENGAGED TO AN UNBELIEVER?

Are you thinking about marrying an unbeliever? Are you engaged to an unbeliever? Are you dating unbelievers?

Are YOU truly a born-again believer? Do you love the Lord Jesus Christ? Are you walking in obedience to God´s Word? Do you really KNOW what God´s Word has to say about dating, being engaged to, or marrying an unbeliever?

If you don´t know these things, WWAW would be remiss in its obligations as a Christian group if we let you go on your merry way without apprising you of what the Lord God says about this subject. So, let´s see what God has to say about being “unequally yoked ”.

Did you know that God didn´t deal with this topic just in the New Testament? God dealt with this way back in Old Testament times, as well, and He commanded His people exactly what He did want them to do, and exactly what He didn´t want them to do in regard to it.

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Ezra 9

1     Now when these things were done, the princes came to me, saying, The people of Israel, and the priests, and the Levites, have not separated themselves from the people of the lands, doing according to their abominations, even of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites, the Ammonites, the Moabites, the Egyptians, and the Amorites.

2     For they have taken of their daughters for themselves, and for their sons: so that the holy seed have mingled themselves with the people of those lands: yea, the hand of the princes and rulers hath been chief in this trespass (SIN).

3     And when I heard this thing, I rent my garment and my mantle, and plucked off the hair of my head and of my beard, and sat down astonied.

4      Then were assembled unto me every one that trembled at the words of the God of Israel, because of the transgression of those that had been carried away; and I sat astonied until the evening sacrifice.

5     And at the evening sacrifice I arose up from my heaviness; and having rent my garment and my mantle, I fell upon my knees, and spread out my hands unto the LORD my God,

6     And said, O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift up my face to thee, my God: for our iniquities are increased over our head, and our trespass is grown up unto the heavens.

7      Since the days of our fathers have we been in a great trespass unto this day; and for our iniquities have we, our kings, and our priests, been delivered into the hand of the kings of the lands, to the sword, to captivity, and to a spoil, and to confusion of face, as it is this day.

8     And now for a little space grace hath been shewed from the LORD our God, to leave us a remnant to escape, and to give us a nail in his holy place, that our God may lighten our eyes, and give us a little reviving in our bondage.

9     For we were bondmen; yet our God hath not forsaken us in our bondage, but hath extended mercy unto us in the sight of the kings of Persia, to give us a reviving, to set up the house of our God, and to repair the desolations thereof, and to give us a wall in Judah and in Jerusalem.

10      And now, O our God, what shall we say after this? for we have forsaken thy commandments,

11     Which thou hast commanded by thy servants the prophets, saying, The land, unto which ye go to possess it, is an unclean land with the filthiness of the people of the lands, with their abominations, which have filled it from one end to another with their uncleanness.

12      Now therefore give not your daughters unto their sons, neither take their daughters unto your sons, nor seek their peace or their wealth for ever: that ye may be strong, and eat the good of the land, and leave it for an inheritance to your children for ever.

13     And after all that is come upon us for our evil deeds, and for our great trespass, seeing that thou our God hast punished us less than our iniquities deserve, and hast given us such deliverance as this;

14     Should we again break thy commandments, and join in affinity with the people of these abominations? wouldest not thou be angry with us till thou hadst consumed us, so that there should be no remnant nor escaping?

15     O LORD God of Israel, thou art righteous: for we remain yet escaped, as it is this day: behold, we are before thee in our trespasses: for we cannot stand before thee because of this.

Ezra 10

1     Now when Ezra had prayed, and when he had confessed, weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, there assembled unto him out of Israel a very great congregation of men and women and children: for the people wept very sore.

2     And Shechaniah the son of Jehiel, one of the sons of Elam, answered and said unto Ezra, We have trespassed against our God, and have taken strange wives of the people of the land: yet now there is hope in Israel concerning this thing.

3     Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law.

4     Arise; for this matter belongeth unto thee: we also will be with thee: be of good courage, and do it.

5     Then arose Ezra, and made the chief priests, the Levites, and all Israel, to swear that they should do according to this word. And they sware.

6      Then Ezra rose up from before the house of God, and went into the chamber of Johanan the son of Eliashib: and when he came thither, he did eat no bread, nor drink water: for he mourned because of the transgression of them that had been carried away.

7      And they made proclamation throughout Judah and Jerusalem unto all the children of the captivity, that they should gather themselves together unto Jerusalem;

8     And that whosoever would not come within three days, according to the counsel of the princes and the elders, all his substance should be forfeited, and himself separated from the congregation of those that had been carried away.

9     Then all the men of Judah and Benjamin gathered themselves together unto Jerusalem within three days. It was the ninth month, on the twentieth day of the month; and all the people sat in the street of the house of God, trembling because of this matter, and for the great rain.

10     And Ezra the priest stood up, and said unto them, Ye have transgressed, and have taken strange wives, to increase the trespass of Israel.

11     Now therefore make confession unto the LORD God of your fathers, and do his pleasure: and separate yourselves from the people of the land, and from the strange wives.

12     Then all the congregation answered and said with a loud voice, As thou hast said, so must we do.

13     But the people are many, and it is a time of much rain, and we are not able to stand without, neither is this a work of one day or two: for we are many that have transgressed in this thing.

14     Let now our rulers of all the congregation stand, and let all them which have taken strange wives in our cities come at appointed times, and with them the elders of every city, and the judges thereof, until the fierce wrath of our God for this matter be turned from us.

15     Only Jonathan the son of Asahel and Jahaziah the son of Tikvah were employed about this matter: and Meshullam and Shabbethai the Levite helped them.

16      And the children of the captivity did so. And Ezra the priest, with certain chief of the fathers, after the house of their fathers, and all of them by their names, were separated, and sat down in the first day of the tenth month to examine the matter.

17      And they made an end with all the men that had taken strange wives by the first day of the first month.

18     And among the sons of the priests there were found that had taken strange wives: namely, of the sons of Jeshua the son of Jozadak, and his brethren; Maaseiah, and Eliezer, and Jarib, and Gedaliah.

19      And they gave their hands that they would put away their wives; and being guilty, they offered a ram of the flock for their trespass.

20     And of the sons of Immer; Hanani, and Zebadiah.

21      And of the sons of Harim; Maaseiah, and Elijah, and Shemaiah, and Jehiel, and Uzziah.

22     And of the sons of Pashur; Elioenai, Maaseiah, Ishmael, Nethaneel, Jozabad, and Elasah.

23     Also of the Levites; Jozabad, and Shimei, and Kelaiah, (the same is Kelita,) Pethahiah, Judah, and Eliezer.

24     Of the singers also; Eliashib: and of the porters; Shallum, and Telem, and Uri.

25     Moreover of Israel: of the sons of Parosh; Ramiah, and Jeziah, and Malchiah, and Miamin, and Eleazar, and Malchijah, and Benaiah.

26      And of the sons of Elam; Mattaniah, Zechariah, and Jehiel, and Abdi, and Jeremoth, and Eliah.

27     And of the sons of Zattu; Elioenai, Eliashib, Mattaniah, and Jeremoth, and Zabad, and Aziza.

28     Of the sons also of Bebai; Jehohanan, Hananiah, Zabbai, and Athlai.

29      And of the sons of Bani; Meshullam, Malluch, and Adaiah, Jashub, and Sheal, and Ramoth.

30      And of the sons of Pahathmoab; Adna, and Chelal, Benaiah, Maaseiah, Mattaniah, Bezaleel, and Binnui, and Manasseh.

31     And of the sons of Harim; Eliezer, Ishijah, Malchiah, Shemaiah, Shimeon,

32     Benjamin, Malluch, and Shemariah.

33     Of the sons of Hashum; Mattenai, Mattathah, Zabad, Eliphelet, Jeremai, Manasseh, and Shimei.

34      Of the sons of Bani; Maadai, Amram, and Uel,

35     Benaiah, Bedeiah, Chelluh,

36      Vaniah, Meremoth, Eliashib,

37      Mattaniah, Mattenai, and Jaasau,

38      And Bani, and Binnui, Shimei,

39      And Shelemiah, and Nathan, and Adaiah,

40      Machnadebai, Shashai, Sharai,

41     Azareel, and Shelemiah, Shemariah,

42      Shallum, Amariah, and Joseph.

43     Of the sons of Nebo; Jeiel, Mattithiah, Zabad, Zebina, Jadau, and Joel, Benaiah.

44      All these had taken strange wives: and some of them had wives by whom they had children.

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Many of the men had taken pagan wives who worshipped other gods from the areas in which they resided, which was expressly forbidden by God. The men that were married to these women covenanted with God to put away the unbelieving, foreign wives. We will see below that this application is not for us today, for in 1 Corinthians, Paul affirms the marriage commitment. God’s ideal is for marriages to stay together — even when one spouse is not a believer.

The Lord was very explicit about His chosen people making covenants with people who were of the lands in which they would live. In Exodus 34, He commands:

12     Take heed to thyself, lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land whither thou goest, lest it be for a snare in the midst of thee:

13     But ye shall destroy their altars, break their images, and cut down their groves:

14     For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:

15      Lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and they go a whoring after their gods, and do sacrifice unto their gods, and one call thee, and thou eat of his sacrifice;

16      And thou take of their daughters unto thy sons, and their daughters go a whoring after their gods, and make thy sons go a whoring after their gods.

We see in the life of Solomon that because of his many wives and concubines, his heart was turned from the Lord God, and he prostituted himself before the altars of strange gods (1 Kings 11).

Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 6:

17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.

18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

In the Old Testament God established the same command:

Isaiah 52:11 says: 11 Depart ye, depart ye, go ye out from thence, touch no unclean thing; go ye out of the midst of her; be ye clean, that bear the vessels of the LORD.

And the final word from the Lord about this comes in Paul´s command in

2 Corinthians 6 -

14     Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

15      And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

16      And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

17      Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.

18     And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

To be unequally yoked with unbelievers can mean anything from marriage to our business dealings. Believers have no business going into business with an unbeliever. Why is this so? Because believers have [or should have] different morals, standards, and beliefs than do unbelievers. Believers should be living and doing business by Scriptural precepts - God's standards - not by worldly standards.

However, Paul, unlike Ezra, does not counsel the believing spouse to forsake the unbelieving spouse in the New Testament. In 1 Corinthians 7 he states:

10      And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

11     But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

12      But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

13      And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

14      For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

15     But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

16      For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

Peter shows agreement with Paul in his epistle, as well,in 1 Peter 3 we read:

1      Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

2      While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

3      Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

4      But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

5      For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

6      Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

Before we commit to marriage to an unbeliever, we must certainly take into account what God´s commands are regarding this action. If we are a true believer who loves the Lord, we certainly cannot disobey the Word of the Lord. James 4:17 tells us that: "Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin." If we marry the unbeliever KNOWING God said we should not, we are sinning. It is a sin to marry an unbeliever. Period.

As the Word says....abstain from all appearance of evil. Stay away from unbelievers for dating and marriage. You might want to say, "Oh, I´m not going to marry an unbeliever!" Are you DATING unbelievers? Then you shall marry an unbeliever. Why? Because we marry whom we date!! That simple.

Have you knowingly married an unbeliever, against God´s command? Knowing what God had to say about it? There is HOPE!! Yes!! God´s arms are forever open to those who are of a repentant heart. Humble yourself today, confess your sin to Him, ask His forgiveness, and turn to Him with your whole heart! 1 John 1:9 tells us that, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness".

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