Boxster (Box-stir):  A game in which a ball is placed under one of three boxes and a person mixes them (stirs them) around.  You then pick which box the ball was under

Tequipment:  German parts made in Mexico. Boxster Tequila (worm not included)  Equipment that costs more than it's worth.  Usually out of stock.

Flat 6:  A six pack that has been left open for several minutes

Hard-Top: What your Boxster drives on.  Sometimes called a road. 

Soft-top:  Your head after losing your hair.

Red-line:  The band around your (Bald) head after removing your hat.  Or, the band around your waist after taking off your pants that USED to fit J.  What a Guards Red Boxster looks like when speeding.

PPBB:  A kidney Stone

Un-sprung weight:  A young fellow who hasn't enjoyed good cooking yet.

0 to 60:  A good age range to buy a Boxster.  How fast your debt increases when you see your first Boxster (times by 1000)

Quarter mile:  The longest you can travel without someone staring at you in your Boxster

DRL's:  Damn retarded Lights

Porsche Crest:  A fluoride containing dentrifice from Germany.  Several beautiful colors.  3 out of 4 Dentists say it cleans teeth twice as fast as regular toothpaste.

FYI:  For You Idiots

SUV:  Some Ugly Van

JD Power ratings:  The proof of your alcohol.  Jack Daniels scale

Boxster S:  The letter after the X and before the T in BOXSTER

911:  An upgraded 90's version of the 7-11.

Dual Airbags:  Bill and Hilary.  Side air bags - Tipper and Al

Airbag Stickers:  Monica Lewinski's Lawyers

986:  How many days it takes to get one.